Blogging Comeback

I decided to blog again since I have so much free time at times at school and at home. I should be studying at the moment for things, but I'll do it this weekend. I wanted one week to just hang out with friends and kick it. College life is different, I'll tell you that. It has been an okay experience for me. (Damnit, there's this fly in my room that's hella buggin' me right now) I wish my dorm hall was more social. Everyone's so kept to themselves. I am pretty sad about failing my English class, but I realized it's okay to take it over because I know I'll do better this time. My poor car! I was driving on the 605 S to the 405 S in the carpool lane with my grandmother and my aunt because I had to drop them off at my other aunt's house. Right in the MIDDLE of the lane, there was a large strip of tire that was left after being blown up or something like that and I couldn't change out of the lanes because I didn't want to risk getting a ticket. I drove over the tire and poor baby ): , half of the front kit broke off

Christmas Wishlist

-MONEY$$$$$
-memory card reader USB
-the plug so i can play the ipod in the car (:
-dorm stuff (:
-Michael Jackson stuff like t-shirts, posters, pictures, collage, blanket, etc. (: <333>
-new clothes (shirts, tanks, jeans, shorts, dresses, sweaters, hoodies, jackets,
shoes [boots (8), gladiator sandals (7.5), flipflops/sandals (7.5)--> (i really want oldnavy ones),
flats (7.5), chucks(7), vans (7.5/8) (slipons, eras, or the keds-lookin' ones), cute heels (7.5) ]
-gift cards from: forever21, hollister, a&f, h&m, pacsun, wetseal, jamba juice,
starbucks, target, staples, office depot, walmart, and any other places you'd think i'd like.
-artsyfartsycraftystuff for scrapbooks, blankets, pillows, shirts (:
-make-up: (Sephora or MAC) (eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, false lashes, lipgloss)
-jewelry: earrings (studs or dangling ones), tongue ring (i prefer metal, but ok w/ plastic),
belly ring (i prefer the short ones, but dangly is fine too), bracelets, necklaces, and rings!
-Sweet Pea body lotion, bodywash, bodyspray, etc. (ONLY SWEET PEA)
-VERY SEXY FOR HER perfume by Victoria's Secret.
-baked goods (:

BIRTHDAY WISHLIST!

I decided to make a birthday wishlist EARLY (:
I put them in the order that I really want or need.

-HP Pavilion dv2000 laptop battery..i REALLY NEED this.
-new cellular phone [SPRINT] b/c my Palm Centro loves to freeze up ALL THE TIME.
& if you get me a new phone, get me a case too :P
-memory card reader USB
-Michael Jackson stuff like t-shirts, posters, pictures, collage, blanket, etc. (: <333 -the plug so i can play the ipod in the car (:
-dorm stuff (:
-new clothes (shirts, tanks, jeans, shorts, dresses, sweaters, hoodies, jackets,
shoes [boots (7.5), gladiator sandals (7.5), flipflops/sandals (7.5)--> (i really want oldnavy ones),
flats [7.5], chucks[7.5], vans [7.5/8] (slipons, eras, or the keds-lookin' ones) ]
-MONEY$$$$$
-gift cards from: forever21, hollister, a&f, h&m, pacsun, wetseal, jamba juice,
starbucks, target, staples, office depot, walmart, and places you'd think i'd like.
-artsyfartsycraftystuff for scrapbooks
-make-up: (Sephora or MAC) (eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, false lashes, lipgloss)
-jewelry: earrings (studs or dangling ones), tongue ring (i prefer metal, but ok w/ plastic),
belly ring (i prefer the short ones, but dangly is fine too), bracelets, necklaces, and rings!
-Sweet Pea body lotion, bodywash, bodyspray, etc. (ONLY SWEET PEA)
-VERY SEXY FOR HER perfume by Victoria's Secret.
-baked goods (:


-DO NOT BUY ME A BOX OF CHOCOLATE

MORE TO COME (:

Summer blows!

Wow, it's been almost a month since I've updated this! Let's see, graduation was pretty boring, but I'm glad because I'm finally a high school graduate! I didn't get to take pictures with everyone. I don't even have all my graduation pictures uploaded. My brother never sent them to me -__- The next day was Grad Nite, which was pretty awesome, I must say. Before Grad Nite, I went back to school with Miranda to pick up her panorama picture, but she left it at my house. We went to the Valley Mall to buy me some cute sandals (: When I came home, I took a long nap to be ready for Grad Nite. I was sick, so I took a bunch of meds and I had some of the lemon tea my mother makes to make my throat A-OKAY for yelling on rides. Seriously, who gets sick the week of graduation? I had to be the lucky one. I sneezed so much during the freakin' practices, too. Grad Nite was seriously amazeballs. I had so much fun, I would so relive that night again. (: I saw Jaysonbaby there along with a few familiar faces from middle school :D After we got back, I went home to sleep for a good 2-3 hours and went back to see Freshmen Orientation. After, I went with some kids to Taco Bell for old times. I came home and napped some more, hahaha. On the 28th, I finally began doing something with summer. I went to bowl for Jerry's birthday. I was there at 8 until freakin' 11. I went to temple afterwards and caught up with a few people. On July 3rd, I attended to the Wilson Reunion dinner thing that I started planning since the day I signed out of high school. I arrived late because I went to go pick up two people. Twenty-six people out of the 43 that were invited showed up, which was pretty good. There were others I really wanted to see that didn't show up, which was pretty sad. ): After our big dinner and tons of catching up to do, we roamed towards Paseo to catch up some more. We walked around until 10ish. It was really sad saying bye to everyone so we decided to come up with another day to hang out with everyone. I haven't set up the date yet, but hopefully it's soon. For 4th of July, I went with my dad to Long Beach to watch the fireworks. It was sooooo cold! ): On July 7th and 8th, I was at UCR's BearFacts Orientation which was pretty cool. I had an interesting group. It was extremely HOT! The food that was provided surprised me. I was actually okay with it. We had a little dance thing that night and I didn't bother going to sleep. I took a shower and hung out with Kristine and our new buddy Eddie. The next day, I fell asleep through some of the lectures which was totally bad. As soon as I came home, I stopped by Rockin' Wednesday to see the A Cappella children's booth. I stayed there dancing to MJ's music, may he rest in peace. It took me a week and a half to cry for him 'cause it was so shocking to find out that he passed away. I'll do a separate blog about him after this. Seriously, breakups and deaths happened within the first week of freakin' summer. Let's see, I had issues with someone that didn't understand that I could never see them in a certain way. I got a really bad sunburn from the beach. My back is currently peeling at the moment. I had to babysit people because they were intoxicated the same night. That's so far the highlights of summer. I'm camping in a week. YAY !

Today's the BIG DAY (:

Basically today is Graduation. In about 12 hours, I will be a high school graduate. YAY! I can't believe it, but we did it. We survived high school! I'll get back onto the graduating subject in a bit. I would like to update and possibly pour out my feelings. Last Saturday, I went to my niece's one month celebration. I basically hung out with the A+ girls and guys & played with my nephew and rocked the niece to sleep. We ate lots and lots of really good food. We watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." That movie is very interesting, but the couple has too much sex. On Sunday, we had our Baccalaureate ceremony along with our panaromic picture that I forgot to order ): After the ceremony, I took a few pictures and headed out to temple for a visit. They all questioned my attire because I was in a dress. I headed out to CSULA after temple to take my math placement test, and my goodness, I got LOST on the way there. That's freakin' SAD ): After the test, I went to go grub with Jamador at Vietnam Kitchen. Their spring rolls were delicious! Yummy! I watched UP that day, too. It's such a cute movie!!! On Monday, we had graduation practice and I lost my ticket because I came late. I sit in the 5th row. It was hot and I had allergies from the grass. Practice was extremely boring. Same thing happened on Tuesday. On Tuesday, I was a bit more annoyed because there are really immature girls that dislike me and like to shout out "BITCH" behind my back OUT LOUD but not to my face. It amazes me how they're still able to act like little middle school kids when they're f***ing seniors in high school. Grow the f*** up, already. I'm tired of your middle school bulls***. It also annoys me how people assume that I've done this or that or have said this or that from what people tell them instead of coming to me and asking me themselves. That's just straight out stupid. Never assume because you end up making an ass out of yourself. I want to get away from this stupid high school drama. People seriously need to grow up. Even I need to grow up, but I'm done dealing with this crap. I'm so glad I'm graduating today so I don't have to see any of those stupid faces again or even hear from them. UGH! I'm ready for the college life. I'm ready to socialize and be out there in the world. I'm ready to expand my knowledge a little more and become a way better and bigger(not physically) person. I have a good feeling that tonight's going to be amazing. I just want to take the time to tell all of my friends how much I appreciate them for always being there for me and listening to my stupid dramatic stories and all that. I thank them for sticking around through the thick and thin. I want to thank them for showing me a different meaning to life and always opening my eyes and heart to a new perspective. I honestly don't know how else I can show my appreciation. Losing certain friends also opened my eyes. It's about equality, not quantity. I'm going to miss each and every single one of you differently. It's been an amazing, crazy, hot tranny mess of 4 years that we've shared. Thanks for being part of those memories.

Amazing Day

Hello (: I'm in such a wonderful mood today. Well, it's more of a happy mood from the day before. There's not really much to say about last weekend. On Saturday, June 6th, I believe I stayed home for the first time in so many weekends. HAHAHA. Sunday was pretty fun. I went to chill with the cousins' and roamed the mall for funzies. Then I started counting down to the days until seniors officially check out of school. I still had work to do in first period. I made up all the work in time and I sure hope I passed that final with an "A". In second period, we sang as usual, but had the returners sing on their own for us seniors to listen. We didn't do anything in third period. We only watched videos, used the computers, and played Taboo. Fourth period was boring as usual. We had to get ready for our show and tell final. I made a collage of New York for my final presentation that I had to say in Spanish for 30 seconds or more. In 5th period, we did our "This I Believe" essays/speeches. Man, majority of the females in the class teared up as they read their "This I Believe" speeches. It really opened up my eyes to a new side that I saw of them that I have never ever seen. It really amazes me how strong these girls and guys with their physical ability to not show their mental weakness. Lots of those speeches really did get to me and I also shared my tears with them. Senior check-out day made me really sad. We were all signing each other's yearbooks. Mr. Whisler sang the song he always sings to the seniors and it made me cry to the point where I had a headache the whole day. I forgot to drop off my yearbook for my counselor to sign ): I need more pages for people to write in. We should have insert pages. Friday was the first day we came to school as non-students. It was extremely boring at Baccalaureate practice. After the practice, Hieu dropped me off at Josh's house so I could wake his ass up to make him get ready to go see people at Gabrielino. I napped for a bit while he was in the shower. Then we drove off to San Gabriel. I haven't seen the side I used to live on in forever! It felt so nice seeing everything from back when I lived there. As soon as we got to campus, the first person I saw was Miranda (: I haven't seen her since the football game. FYI, I haven't seen THESE kids in 10 freakin' years. 10 YEARS, dude! That's a long time! After that, I saw Emilia, Katie, Juliana, Gianna, Sean, and Conrad. Gianna didn't remember Josh and I. Bummer! Afterwards, I saw Allison. I still have a picture of her and I back in kindergarten when we went on this one farm trip. We tried seeing if Jessica Stewart remembered us, but that failed. We saw Bianca and Kimberly. Kimberly doesn't remember us at all. Josh wanted to see Anthony Cruz, so we went to see him, and DAMN he looks good! =X We saw Andrew, Natalie, Efren, Derek, Danny Dang, Danny Van and Tanya afterwards. We caught up with a bunch of memories from kindergarten up until like 2nd grade I think, because that's when I left Wilson. It amazes me how I can remember their faces so well along with the childhood memories I had there. I feel like I have accomplished something that I would so do before I died. It made me really miss Tyler, too. RIP. Aaron had left to Alabama for Speech Nationals or something like that. Now we're going to plan this whole reunion dinner and such so that we can really all catch up before we totally party ways. I've really missed all of them. After this, we headed back to Josh's house and watched Big Fish. He napped while I was watching it. I didn't get to finish the movie. ): Then we went to his little sister's graduation. I thought it was pretty cute what each student had to do. Interesting school, I'll tell you. After, I headed out to the A Cappella party. I ate like a fatty. I signed yearbooks. I made people sign mine. I jumped in the jumper. I got my award. I took a bunch of pictures. I hugged and sang with the group for the last time. ): *teartear. We watched our Spring Concert DVD (: Awesomeness, I tell you. Now I'm at home getting ready to seeeeep! T00DLES!

The Countdown BEGINS (:

Hello blog readers! I'm sitting in AP Gov kicking back in a way. There's some kids playing some game and most of us are on the computers. I believe it's time to update (: I just performed in my last Spring Choir Concert a few weeks ago. On May 28, 2009 ): The day before was our assemblies. They showed our video of A Cappella singing at the Knicks' game in New York. AMAZEBALLS! Hahaha. On the day of the concert, I had my hair curled and pinned up so that later that night, my hair would stay curled. I helped David and some other kids paint the "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" backdrop during 6th period. We also helped set up the risers and shells, too. We decorated the stage with silver streamers and lights. Then I had my mom drop off my pearl necklace and sunglasses for the Lionettes' dance after school. Practice for A Cappella was at 3:45pm. The stage was so HOT! I wanted to go get food, but I had no car because mother didn't want to lend me the van ): I went with Teddy to go get Art's but then I had to drive back to practice with Madrigals -__- Mike ended up getting me two tacos. YUMMAYYYYY. I stayed in the dressing room with the girls so we can get ready for the performance. I had Jocelyn do my make-up since Lionettes were up first. I had to leave my dress to dance in for Lionettes on stage because we had no time to run back and get dressed after the Madrigals second performance. I messed up in each dance HAHAHA. I loved dancing for A Cappella. We went all out that night and it was pretty awesome. I got to see Jamador after the dance (: We didn't hang out enough, but I texted him until I fell asleep at home. We went to BJ's afterwards and I was a bit annoyed due to some reservation problems. We all sat down and some of them left because they were going to charge for an extra table or whatever, but I didn't care; you either stay and eat or you just leave; FUCK the drama. I had a blast at dinner though<3>

[continued June 11, 2009]

After the video project was over, I had an emergency call and I had to go pick up someone. Afterwards, I left to go hang out with Josh at his house. I have no clue what we did. I think we napped, ate sticky rice, drink boba, watched movies, and played cards all day. Then I had to prepare for Senior Boards. I was sooooo nervous, it's not even funny. I had to practice my speech with the english class. It was so nerve wrecking. I kept going over 5 minutes. I had too much information on my card. I had to rewrite my card over like 5 times. Then the day of the boards actually came. We all had to dress up as if we were going in for a corporate interview. My appointment time was at 8:43. I was so nervous because I had Mr. Hernandez on the panel and we had debates in his class and it did not go so well when I had to go up. Anyway, I had 3 other people along with Mr. Hernandez on the panel. I had the school nurse, one of the people who work at the district office, and an alumni from last year. I think I talked under 5 minutes and 30 seconds. I'm not sure, I have to look at my score sheet again. Senior boards were finally over. I had to present after school at the open house to underclassmen and other seniors. The dinner wasn't so great. I got a 93 on my presentation (: AWESOME. The next day was our last renaissance assembly of the year! Wendy and Aimara made me a cute shirt TEEHEEHEE (: THe first assembly went by well and so did the second one. I liked drumline's performance THE BEST (: It was AMAZEBALLS. I didn't go to third period at all. Fourth period, there was nothing to do. 5th period, I don't remember hahahaha. After school, I went home to get ready for Aloha. I went over to Josh's to talk things out with some stupid things that had happened during that week. Everything went well. I went to go get Yogurtland afterwards and headed back to school for the dance. The line was long ): Some kids were drunk, buzzed, high, and rolling and it really annoyed me. The dance was really hot and it smelled, but I had fun. I had a headache so I left early. Josh gave me tylenol and I napped. I went to Denny's with some of the kids to eat (: I had the sampler. It was mmmmmmmmm delicious. I'm lazy. I'll update later.

Sweetheart!

Hello! It's time to extremely update. I don't remember where I last updated, so I'm just going to speak on behalf of the month of May. I became a part of Madrigals choir for the Six Flags "Music in the Parks" festival with Miranda, Perla, Vanessa, Erick, Rafael, Alex, and Jairo. We started practicing for about 2-3 weeks during lunch and after school. The performance was May 16th. I also performed with Lionettes that day. It was so hot at Six Flags. I have a very light tan from there. Madrigals got 1st place in our division and we were the only choir that got the SUPERIOR grading. Our school won the Best Overall Choir trophy (: That's what we were aiming the whole time for. :D Prom was on May 9th. I didn't really enjoy myself as much as I expected to. No offense to Christian Gasca who was my date, but I think I was better off going by myself. I started getting ready at 3PM and was done by 5:30PM. Christian and I went to get our pictures taken at TKT. I saw people I didn't want to see there, but I didn't let it phase me because it's MY prom. We went to pick up his cousin after. On the way to prom, we saw a girl get beaten up by two guys. It was sad so we called the police and reported it. We got to prom by 8:30PM. There was a long ass line to get in. You know what sucks though? I got the dot the day before prom. The food took forever to come out. The hip-hop DJ sucked real bad. I liked the Spanish music DJ better. -__- We went to eat at Denny's after prom and to Beto's kickback that sucked real bad. On May 2nd, I went to lunch with Joanna for some Hainan chicken. SO DELICIOUS! Then I headed out to temple to help set up for Buddha's birthday which was the next day. I spent hours making lotuses ): I hung out with Andy, Andrew, Derek, and Jonathan that day. We had adventures at K-Mart, San Gabriel Superstore, and Wal Mart. They're so much fun! On the day of Buddha's birthday celebration, I went to Katie's baby shower. It was fun. I got fat (: May 15 was the school's carnival that was hosted by ASB. This was the first day David came to dance with us. It was so hot practicing in the small gym. The carnival was a success pretty much. I had fun dancing with Wendy and Eric. I almost pulled both of my muscles in my calves. On May 16, Katie went into labor and I came to visit her and Audrey the next day. Audrey's soooooo TINY! I got a random call out of NOWHERE from my kindergarten best friend, Josh Amador a few days after this. I was falling asleep and all of a sudden I got a random call. I spoke into the phone half asleep "Hello?" and the voice replied with "Nancy?" and I said "Yes, who is this?" and the voice answered "Josh" and I'm thinking "Please let this be Amador" and I was RIGHT! I haven't heard from this guy in over a YEAR! We caught up a bit and talked and whatnot. He picked me up Tuesday after dance practice to chill for a good hour. I saw Storm who I also haven't spoken to in a long while. On Wednesday, we had an adventure to TKT during 6th period so I can pick up my pictures, but unfortunately, the place was closed, so he asked me to give him a tour of the school since the last time he was ever on campus, it was under construction. He came to see me after the field trip that day, too. :D I saw him the Friday after that at the Faculty Frolics Show which came out to be a huge success and it really helped even out the cost A Cappella owed for our trip to New York. The acts were funny, the singing was not too bad. I didn't expect all of that in the show. I went to chill with Josh afterwards. On the weekend, I practiced with David like we were supposed to. Then I headed out to a graduation at Damien High School. I got lost on the way there. ASDFJKL; I saw some familiar faces, but totally felt awkward. Sunday was funzies (: Spring Concert is coming up. I'm excited and sad. Senior year is almost over. I feel that I'm a lot happier now 'cause I think I got everything I need. I got family, friends, a cute boy, and college ahead of me (: I'll blog some more later. Oh yeah, FUCK BITCHES (: THUG LIFE. I don't give a DAMN or FUCK. (: I'm fucking hardcore like that. Grow up, trick.

Government Class

I'm currently in AP Gov working with my group on a project we have to do for the rest of the year. We have 4 debates coming up. How exciting! I haven't blogged in so long. It's close to almost a month already. JEEZ! I'm missing some assignments for my Senior Quest. I'm close to failing government, but I am determined to bring my grade up to a C+ at least. April 25th was RHS and WCHS' prom that I knew of. I went to UCR for the Highlander Day event this day, too. I met up with Kristine Porte, my future dormmate at UCR. (: The campus was a lot bigger than I thought. I took a lot of pamphlets and papers to read at home. We took a tour of our dorm. I'm glad I chose EastLo. (: After, I went to go pick up my prom dress from Linda's. I haven't seen her in forever! After, I went to the movies and prom. FUNZIES (: The week after, I basically studied and studied for the upcoming AP tests. I went on a field trip with Lionetttes to RHS for our performance. I forgot a lot of the words to the German song. =X Andy and Viet stopped by to visit me which was really sweet. We got "Superior" as our grading, which was pretty awesome. I finally bought my prom ticket :D April 30th was the official Senior Ditch Day, but I chose not to ditch because I found that it was pointless to ditch and go to the movies, something that I could do after school or on the weekend. LAME. On May 2, I had to go to temple to help set up for Buddha's birthday. What a tiring day! I went to eat Chicken Hainam at this Vietnamese restaurant near the CVS near New and Valley. YUMMAYYY! Then I went to temple to make a bunch of lotus' and OMG, it took me an hour to make just one. I hung out with Andrew, Derek, Andy, and Jonathan afterwards. We had adventures at K-Mart, San Gabriel Superstore, and Wal Mart. (: They're such little kids, I swear! I went to Orange County afterwards with my dad to visit my grandmother. She does NOT look Vietnamese anymore. She looks more like..white and Indian to me. =X I didn't come home until 12. I woke up the next day, which was Sunday, at 8am. I got ready and left the house at 9:30 to get food. I went to get the Lexus washed. I was supposed to be at temple at 10, but I didn't get there until 10:45 because the car wash took longer than I thought. I left Le Phat Dan early to go to Katie's baby shower. I ate steak, chips & dip, and bunch of candies. I left home early to study for the AP Gov test which was the next day. I went to go play pool at Henry's with Minh, Daren, and Luis. It was pretty fun! It was my first time playing and I won Minh and Daren. I haven't played Henry and Luis yet. I thought the test was easier than I thought, but the FRQ's killed me. ): Prom is coming up this Saturday. I'm way excited. YAY! I haven't had access to the internet for a good week. I'm dying! The only way to contact me now is through text messages and phone calls. I check my email every single day in Physiology. )': The SBC Yahoo guy better come on Monday like he told my brother he would. Sigh. So much DRAMA! I'll vent when I get my internet back. BLEH. IMY.

Vent!

It is time for me to vent. I've been quite upset for the past few days. I have several reasons why I have been upset. It's mainly about friends, an ex-boyfriend, prom, and the future. Let's start off with friends.

I feel that some of my friends have chosen their significant others over friends. I know some of them don't mean to, but sometimes, things are just placed that way. I was pretty upset over the fact that anyone would choose their boyfriend/girlfriend over a friend they have known for what seems a long time. It's been bugging me for a while. I just never spoke up about it until now...and possibly in my last few blogs. This is just me trying to make people realize something. Just think about who is going to be there for you in the end. Yes, I understand that some friendships don't last forever and I understand friendships drift at times. Even though some of my friends and I have drifted, I still manage to assure them from time to time that I'm still there for them and that I'm there for them no matter what and until the very end.

I also have another friend that I personally think is trying to cause drama for the whole darn world. I believe this person is upset that some things are going to come back to normal and that a friendship may slowly drift once more. I personally think you're not over it. I wasn't speaking to them and you just happened to temporarily replace me. Now that we are back on track and working slowly towards the growth of our friendship's strenth and due to you being total BFFLs with them, you know that this was bound to happen and you don't want it to go back to normal. You like the way it is now because you're needed by them. You're being used. I'm sorry. I wasn't there for the person and the person even told me that they only spoke to you because no one else would talk to them. Well, accept the fact that it's going back to normal to how the way things were.

I'm hoping LNPRN is heading back to how things were between all three of us. I missed us SO much, it's not even funny. I miss the stupidest moments we had. I miss walking to 6th period with each other. I miss our random adventures to Target. I miss all the things we did during Winter Break. Dang, we went through a lot, no lie. We were like this *crosses fingers. Now we're going to get back on track.

With prom, I'm upset that my friend and I went through a lot just to convince another friend to go to prom. Her boyfriend's in the airforce and she refused to go to prom if it's not with him. My friend and I worked our magic, went through all the trouble of calling recruiters on how to help the friend's boyfriend come home that weekend for prom. It's all going to work out just as long as he pays for his ticket, gets the guestpass signed, and the copy of his ID, too. I did NOT go through all the hassle of calling recruiters and shit just so I can have her back out on me at last minute. -__- I hate that bullcrap. I hate having things changed at last minute. I hate how some people are just so indecisive and CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MIND ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT ('naw what I mean, jellybean?!?!?) Whatever, it's her night, she can do whatever she wants with it. Her mother did not just spend time on making her the prom dress either. I just really wanted a night where all of us were finally together celebrating our long lasting friendship and whatever the hell we went through with each other our senior year. It's our SENIOR PROM, for goodness sake. Who cares if we already had the prom experience? Let's all experience our last prom together. We all have different dates. I mean, yeah, there's always Aloha, but are we all going to be there together at Aloha? I don't know. Whatever, my point being is, I really want us to all together at prom, or I will regret going to prom.

College scares me. The expenses scare me. The experience is going to scare me just as well. I'm not sure if I'm ready to head out to the real world yet.

Now the ex-boyfriend. Yes, readers, I'm not over him yet. Jeez, cut me some slack, will you? I miss the guy, I really do. We went through a lot, no lie. He's the P to my LNPRN. He's MY cutayyy and I'm his cutaayyy. I miss him terribly and so much that it hurts. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was looking through all the pictures I've taken with him and it just made me reminisce back on how things were back just a few months ago. We had a really tight and great relationship, but apparently he wasn't ready for a serious one. Now he's with a little sophomore. I'm pissed off at the fact that we were still flirting and holding hands and kissing or whatever and whatnot about a month and a half after the breakup and he jumps into a relationship a week after displaying affection to me. I don't understand this boy. We all know that he doesn't know what he wants. He's not even taking his current girlfriend seriously. I'm also mad at how he's putting up a total front and making it seem like she is THE best girlfriend in the world, when he's not taking her seriously. I may sound jealous, but why the HELL would I be jealous of a little sophomore? She has my sloppy seconds. Whatever. My point is, I miss the guy. I was doing so well for that month I wasn't friends with him, but that letter he wrote to me...it really got to me. I just don't like how he had changed so drastically. It's not the Luis Avila that I know. The Luis Avila that I see right now has a nasty personality and selfish attitude. What happened to that sweet guy that I fell in love with? What happened to guy I gave my only PHANtastic hugs to? I want THAT Luis back. He doesn't realize he's changed. I don't know what to do. It's hard to let go of someone you fell hard for. It wasn't supposed to be like this. :/ I'll finish up tomorrow or something. I'm getting teary-eyed and sleepy. [1:30AM]

11:53PM

Hello blogspot readers. I'm very tired at the moment, but I feel like I should do an update blog and then a venting blog. On Wednesday, I went to the Beach Supermarket in San Gabriel to buy tomatoes, lettuce, and Cookie & Cream ice cream. I had to slice tomatoes for the barbecue and peel the lettuce, too. We were having a barbecue. This wasn't supposed to be an A Cappella event, but majority of the people that went were from A Cappella. Funny thing, ain't it? First thing I did was get on the swings with Crystal and we gossipped, bonded, and chit-chatted. The grill starting and I was hungry. It was a pretty windy and beautiful day at Legg Lake. I had fun. (: I played volleyball, sang songs, played on the lake's playground. I felt like I was a little kid all over again. I screamed with Wendy. There was a teensy little bit of drama, but I was not involved. We played Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare. That was a very interesting game, I'll tell you. (: I ended up walking to Crystal's and waited for Wendy's mother to take me home. I came home and probably ate some more and slept. The next day, I went corsage shopping with Vi Lam. First we went to the shop on Valley towards San Gabriel. Their corsages/boutonnieres were really nice. It was very similar to the one I got for SVHS' prom last year. She was going to charge me $35 for 3 roses and the boutonniere. For 2 roses, it was $25. I told her I'm going to go talk to my date about it and come back another time. After, we went to Jack in the Box because I was craving curly fries and she wanted to drink soda. We headed out to Las Tunas afterwards to look for Flower Mart. Their corsages were SO expensive, but extremely pretty. I couldn't afford it, so I headed out to Kim's Florist in Alhambra. My brother's girlfriend referred me to her, so I decided to check it out. The corsages there were pretty legit and cheap, too. I didn't realize that because I added orchids onto my corsage, it would cost that much more. The total was around $45 dollars. I have 3 roses and 3-5 orchids. My corsage is going to look very pretty this year unlike that piece of crap I had for EMHS' prom last year. After, I went home and helped around the house and slept like always. Today, I tried sleeping in, but failed because I kept getting prankcalled. I had Omana's for brunch with Miranda while we gossipped. Later on, I walked with Wendy to McDonald's and we discussed the reuniting LNPRN[triotriotrio]. We were talking about other plans for the rest of Spring Break. We saw Griselda and David, so we stopped and chitchatted for a bit. I came home, ate some more, and was glued to the computer for a good few hours. It wasn't that much of an interesting day. Now time to vent!

An Interesting Read

Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now, and
forever will take care of itself.

Grow up together, constantly.

Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy
in your relationship. Lasting relationships don't just
happen, they are created.

Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever.
Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to
act as if they are permanent.

Respect the other person's relationships apart
from you. If they are important to the one
you care about, they should
be important to you.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to
your expectations.

Take your time.

Remove price tags from people. Everyone has
worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value.
Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too
much, if you're giving willingly.

Don't feel as if you are required to spend every
waking hour with those you love. Move aside from
time to time and allow them a separate space too.

Never force anyone to do anything for you in the
name of love. Love is not to bargained for.
Don't be afraid.

Don't overanalyze your relationships.

Realize that you always have choices. It's up to
you.

Remember that a relationship is a pooling of
resources. It means that with each relationship
you are not only giving, but you are becoming more.

Don't allow relationships to burden your heart;
rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in
shade.

Don't lose in touch with the craziness in you.
This, with a large dose of caring, will assure
that your relationship will never be boring.

Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You
don't have forever.

Don't hold on to anger. they steal your energy and
keep you from love.

There are times when you want to give up on a
relationship but never give up on relating.

Learn to listen. You don't learn anything from
hearing yourself talk.

Expect what is reasonable, not what is perfect.

Write down all the reasons why you love each
person you relate with.

Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out
and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.

After an argument is over, forget it.
Don't become involved in pettiness, ego and
childish hurts. Those will only serve to degrade
your relationship and prevent closeness.

Learn to bend. It's better than breaking.

Since love can be created, there is no reason to
be loveless.

Even though you are only half of a relationship,
you must remain a whole person, apart from the relationship.

Remember that moral and spiritual values don't
restrict, they protect.

Don't fall in love with love, you'll die with its
complexities.

Don't allow your relationships to die of neglect

Random Blog

This is a random blog. I'm currently watching the Phantom of the Opera on YouTube. I love this movie, like you don't even know. I didn't know who the Phantom was, so I googled up the movie information. The guy who acts as the Phantom is named Gerard Butler. I wondered what other movies he was in and apparently he was in P.S. I Love You and 300. I didn't know he was King Leonidas in 300 so I searched up his picture and I started laughing. I don't know why, but I found it amusing. Hahaha. I'll continue later.

Continued....
I went to Jessica's house earlier today. We watched the movie "Crybaby" and ate ice cream. Yum! Lamp Post failed! Our plans for spring break haven't gone through. I've had a few friends that might not come through because they might choose to hang out with their significant other than friends. I don't understand why they can't just INCLUDE their significant others with us. -__- Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there that I hate how sometimes, friends would choose their significant others over their friends. I don't get it sometimes. I know you don't planning on marrying the person, or maybe you are, but dude...who the hell is going to be there for you in the end? Honestly, friends are going to be there for you in the end, am I right? So why do you neglect your friends when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? What, you can't balance it out? I just don't get it. Personally, I don't even do that. I know when to balance spending time with a significant other and friends. I usually put them together or have my friends' or girls' night out and then time alone with whomever my boyfriend is. SIGH! Friends are far more important in my life. I'm sorry but it's family, friends, and then significant others. I got priorities, man. I realized I have a few selfish friends. Bummer. Maybe if you read this, you'll understand the neglect you cause me to feel along with others. Maybe I'm the one that cares enough or just too much to actually notice. I should stop caring. I don't know. I hope you would one day get a chance to read any of my blogs and understand. :/

Tired ):

Morning. I forgot to finish my blog entry last night so I decided to start a new one this morning. Let's get a recap of the weekend. Friday was the drive to Ontario Mills Outlet mall. That mall seemed like it took forever to just walk around. There's like 10 "neighborhoods" in that mall. I wasn't really feeling any of the dresses that I saw at Group USA. It's because they didn't exactly have my SIZE. I saw THE royal blue dress that I had seen online there. It was the same exact dress, but FML, it was $209! I'm not going to spend 2 bills on a dress that I'm only going to wear ONCE in my life. There was a cute dress at Windsor, but it was $109. I only had $50 with me, so I said "Neh, I'm straight." Off topic, I'm craving an Auntie Anne's sour cream 'n' onion pretzel. MMMGOOD. I ended up finding a dress I really liked at David's Bridal, but I didn't like their deal with the layaway thing. I left and got home by like 6:30, I believe. I didn't exactly want to be at home, but I knew my mom was going to trip 'cause I went out so "late" or whatever. I think the whole sneaking out tripped me out for the rest of the weekend. I snuck out to talk to a friend that I haven't spoken with for over a month. If you know who it is, good for you. Just don't say the name out loud or comment about it. I know it's obvious about who it is, but still. Thanks. Anyway, -- had written me an apology letter and how much he had missed me, missed being able to call me his friend, and missed be able to talk to me or whatever. The letter was heartfelt to me. Here, I'll let you read it for yourself:

Dear Nancy, Before I say anything at all, I just want to say that I really miss you I miss being able to talk to you. I miss being able to call you my friend. But my main reason for writing this letter is to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you or make you mad at me. I especially want to apologize for the whole _____ thing. I should have never done that to you last minute. I'm really sorry for making you waste time and money on the _____. I wasn't expecting you to be that into it. But anyways, I'm really sorry for everything. I don't want us to hate each other. I want us to be friends again. I want us to be able to talk to each other. I don't want to feel uncomfortable at lunch anymore. I want to go to lunch and be able to talk to everyone and be happy. I hate having to isolate myself from everyone so that I don't feel weird. I miss you nancy and I really want us to be friends again. I really do hope you forgive me. I'm sorry.
--________________, your ________

So yeah, what do you guys think? I mean, I'm pretty much GLAD that he realized how much he messed up with me and messed up what used to be our friendship. Yes, it was both of our faults, but I blame it more on him because of the stunt he pulled on me. I got screwed over big time. You don't EVER f***ing screw over and mess with a damn PHAN, 'cause you will regret it. I can guarantee that. After I had read the letter, I texted him that we'll talk about this later on in the day when he comes home. I texted him around 7pm that same day (Thursday). He had fallen asleep and I was like "What the hell, you knew we were supposed to talk!" but I got over it. I told him we'll talk the next day after I come back home from the mall. So then, that day (Friday), I had texted him as soon as I got home. I was totally blown off because he was with his girlfriend. I was like "Wtf, you KNEW we were going to talk to him." He knew I was upset from the last text I sent him saying "OMG NVFM..." He texted me 3 hours later apologizing to me about earlier. I said , "Nah it's cool. I mean yeah GF > Friend. When you're not busy with your fambam, friends, or her, feel free to pencil me into your schedule." Then he tells me that he feels bad. I pretended to act like I didn't know why he felt bad so I asked him why he felt bad. He said "I keep leaving you on the hang." I told him "Well, I'm an understanding person. You have far more important things than me and working out this friendship, but knowing you, you'll make time for me (:" He said that he was free right at that moment and it was getting late already. I told him to just come 'cause I was able to sneak out. That's exactly what I did. I snuck out and we talked that night, FINALLY. The first thing we did was give each other a hug. It's been a while since I've been able to hug him and it felt so good to just be able to hug him again. We started talking and he apologized first and told me how much he missed me and I apologized too, for my own reasons and I told him that I had missed him too. We discussed a lot that I prefer to keep between us. Everything went well. Our friendship is back on track, but we're taking it slow because I told him that we can't just pick up from where we left off. The next day, which was Saturday, I totally bummed it out. I decided to leave -- a long comment on his MySpace. Apparently, his girlfriend's SISTER tripped out on my comment by saying "What's going on with that comment under me? I'm not really liking that "last night" bullcrap. We need to talkk mister." so I had to re-comment. It's just freakin' MySpace and she's tripping out about it. You're f***ing 19, dude. Get over it. You can't accept the fact that he has friends that are girls that he hangs out with? Besides, I wouldn't be saying crap if I were you 'cause of all the b.s. that I've heard. Someone is just having too much fun not staying committed! >:] Anyway, I didn't do much on Saturday. I really just slept a lot because I'm extremely tired for no reason. On Sunday, I went to temple late like always. I helped served lunch for 150+. After lunch was done, I had to take care of the older girls inside the temple to make sure they weren't messing around and junk because I don't exactly have to learn with them anymore. I'm in training to become a leader. HAHA, I'm such a nerd! While I was at temple, a friend texted me and I wanted to bonk him in the head because what he was texting me was some stupid bulls***. Here, I'll let you read it

--: hey I just remembered something I was gonna mention that night we talked

Me: what’s up

--: I didn’t really appreciate the fact that you were talking crap about my gf. Especially when you know nothing about her or who she was at the time

Me: I don’t even remember what I said. But I’m sorry?

--: I don’t wanna bring that back up but I really didn’t appreciate that. I had a few people tell me that you were talking crap. I don’t wanna hear it again

Me: well my bad for saying shit I didn’t mean any of it. I was just talking out of anger. I’m hearing the same thing just vice versa. I wanna tell you everything I heard but I can’t ‘cause I know you wouldn’t believe me. & right now you’d probably take her side instead of mine. It seems that you would choose a significant other’s side than a friend’s side so whenever I feel it’s right to tell you, then I’ll tell you

--: I never said anything. I had no reason to.

Me: well I’m hearing otherwise but we’ll have to talk about this another time.

--: what you’re hearing is wrong. Like I said, I had no reason to talk so I didn’t. I just don’t wanna hear about you talking crap anymore

Me: I’ve stopped for a while and I don’t plan on doing it again. What I heard that you say isn’t true isn’t even HALF of all the crap I heard so just wait till it’s right to talk about it. I promise you won’t hear shit from me about her anymore.

--: good cuz things won’t be too pretty if it continues. There won’t be another time to talk about this. That’s why I brought it up now

Me: You know, I don’t like the fact that you would threaten our friendship like that over something stupid that I did. I already stopped. Yeah there IS going to be a next time we’re going to talk about this because it fucking relates to YOU

--: things can get ugly, nancy. And no there won’t be

Me: yeah I KNOW things can get ugly. Fine. That’s your ultimatum. I get it. I don’t like the fact that you would choose a relationship over a friendship but whatever. Apparently my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. Just remember who’s gonna be there for you in the end. This convo’s done and over with. It’s never going to be brought up again.

After this, I was freakin' HELLA pissed off. I seriously don't get this guy. Here he was trying to make our friendship work out and now he's THREATENING our friendship. So what if I talked crap about his girlfriend? I already stopped a long ass time ago. I had a right to, and I never meant anything I said except maybe the part where she isn't pretty and that he's totally pedoing her because she's only FIFTEEN and he's EIGHTEEN. She's the reason why our friendship was f***ed up. Now you're going to f***ing tell me that if you hear me talking crap about her, things will get ugly?!? Excuse me, asshole. You're the one that f***ed up real bad with me and you're the one that's trying to be my friend again. You should NOT be threatening our friendship like that. I should be the one giving you a f***ing ultimatum. You act as if your girlfriend is more important than my friendship with you. You are obviously choosing a relationship that you aren't even SERIOUS about because I know what you're doing, you dirtyf***, over a friendship. How the hell can you do that to me? Think about who the f*** is going to be there for you in the damn f***ing end. Is SHE going to be there? I don't f***ing think so! You KNOW for a fact that I'M going to be there in the f***ing end for you. I hate the fact that sometimes, I have to point out the mistakes that you are making. I cannot wait till Karma comes biting you in the ass for what you're doing right now. Maybe after this happens, you'll learn to NEVER EVER choose a girlfriend over a friend, especially with ME. That's some f***ed up shit, but apparently you don't notice it because you're stubborn as f***. I seriously don't know what to do with you. I'm not going to bother talking to you right now because you're obviously putting up a front and I know deep down you don't give a rat's ass about your relationship right now. Watch, it's going to come biting you in the ass and you don't even KNOW it. Will I be there for you when this happens? Honestly, I don't know. You either realize what you're doing now, or no one is going to be there for you at all. I knew it was a mistake to let you off so easy. I know better now.

Anyway, I'm going to get out of bed and eat now. I'm hungryyyy ): I'll blog some more laterrrr :D

Saturday Morning!

I'm supposed to be at the beach right now, but I told the kids I wouldn't go because I didn't feel like taking the bus and getting lost on the way there and back. I really wanted to go to Venice Pier today. Even if it's cold, I just wanted to walk on the boardwalk. (:

"Oh, when the sun beats down and burns the tar up on the roof,
& your shoes get so hot, you wish your tired feet were fire-proof!
Under the Boardwalk, down by the sea, yeahhhh
on a blanket with my baby, is where I'll be!

(Under the boardwalk) out of the sun!
(Under the boardwalk) We'll be having some fun!
(Under the boardwalk) people walking above
(Under the boardwalk) We'll be falling in love
Under the Boardwalk!"

Hahah, that song was in my head. Well, I'm probably not going to do anything today besides catching up on homework and sleeping and eating like ALWAYS! YAY ME! Last night was crazy! I snuck out for the first time in my life! It was so scary. I was clearing things up with someone. I was out for about an hour and a half. It felt good how things went back to normal. I've missed you, sweetie. It's been a hard 4 weeks trying not to think about what has happened. I'm tired. I think I'll finish this blog later. TIME TO NAP!

Friday Evening!

I have a bone to pick with someone. The other day, I texted an old friend to say hey and I told him "What, you're too cool to talk to me now because you're hung up on working out your friendship with her [exgf]?" and he told me "No. I haven't spoken to her for 2 days" so I asked him what does he and she talk about. In my mind, I'm wondering if she spoke smack about me to him, and what do you f***ing know? She does! She told him that I wouldn't fight her. That girl doesn't even DARE to speak to me, so why is she saying stupid things like that? I don't get her sometimes. It's like you're out to f***ing get me, you stupid trick. I freakin' told him that she doesn't even talk shit to me for one and she never offered to fight me. I'm so much smarter than her though. I'm not going to risk graduation just to break her face. Do you honestly think I'm that f***ing dumb like you are? Seriously, grow up already! It's some middle school B.S. that you're trying to pull on me. -___- Then my friend goes and tells me that the one thing he learned from his ex is to be straight up so he told me that I was being a weenie about this whole situation and that it had many opportunities where it could have been fixed. I started to get mad and told him off and said "I listened to you when you told me to ignore her which I did until stuff happened. What, you want me to fight her? What good does that to? We both won't get anything out of it. Even IF i do fight her, she's not going to stop talking shit. I know her too well. If I were you, I wouldn't even TRY to be friends with her again, because she knows she has you in the palm of her hands. You know what, I'm just going to let things be and ignore it completely. I'm not going to stoop down to someone's level and be immature. What she's doing, REAL mature. And to add on top of that, when you're mature enough to have our friendship out in the open and not hide it, feel free to text/call me then." Ugh. You tell me you've matured and shit, but if you truly were mature, you wouldn't hide the fact that you're trying to be friends with me. Whatever, dickface. You only came to me because she wouldn't talk to you anymore. REAL F***ING MATURE.

----------

I'm so tired. I hate driving! Today, I woke up at 6:03am because Alex Le IMed me and it went to my phone for some reason. I left my house at 11 to go pick up Angie to head out to the baseball field so we can watch our varsity baseball team play against Arroyo. We won 3-0. I believe that's the 2nd win we had this season. FAIL! I saw the Avila's. I gave everyone a hug. I haven't seen them since the first few baseball games. :/ After, I went to pick up Jio and Wendy. Then we headed out to Alhambra to pick up Elvis and his friends. After this, we headed out to Ontario Mills Outlet. That was the longest drive EVER. I f***ing hate traffic. We got there and parked. We went around to Group USA and none of the dresses really caught my attention except this one blue one that was just 11 sizes to big for me. We went to other stores along the way to help Jio find a tux and vest. I went to JCPenney. There was nothing there. I had an Auntie Anne's pretzel. YUM! I want another one! I love their freakin' food court, dude! It's so huge! We left the mall around 5. I found my dress at David's Bridal. It's 100 bucks, so I must find 50 bucks somehow. Time to start selling stuff! HAHAHA or even FUNDRAISE! I dropped off everyone at home and came home and started blogging. I made myself a hot pocket and cookies. YUMYUM!

----------

I have some venting to do. I was supposed to go talk things out with someone, but apparently he had forgotten to pencil me into his busy schedule because he was with his damn girlfriend. Like do you not understand when I said "I'm going to come over tomorrow to talk, then, okay?" and he replied with an "Okay." I bet he didn't even remember. I don't understand you sometimes. You write me a letter telling me you freakin' miss me and that you miss being friends with me and being able to talk to me. If you cared that much, you would've cared enough to take time out of your schedule to talk to me so that our friendship can start over and work out again. Don't you understand that boyfriends and girlfriends aren't always going to be there for you? I'm sure you don't planning on marrying her. I know you way too well for you to even go beyond this "serious" relationship you have with her. Anyway, think about it this way. In f***ing 10 years, who the HELL is going to be there for you? Yeah, that's right. ME, your f***ing friend. Not her, because I KNOW she will be history by then. It's supposed to be friends > girlfriend. Apparently, that's not how you see it. If you cared that much, we would've made up already.

In all honesty, I really do miss you too. I miss be able to talk to you. I miss being your friend. I miss you just as much as you miss me. I miss all those weekend kickbacks we had at your house. I miss seeing and being with your family. I miss our inside jokes and our stupidness together. I miss my cutayyy. I miss the Penis to my LeftNutPenisRightNut. I miss my walking-to-4th, 5th,6th period buddy. I miss going to your games and cheering for you. I can't even go cheer for you now because it feels so awkward knowing that your girlfriend is there. I miss being that girl that made the cutest posters for you. It's like now, you don't even want one anymore. Besides, she would probably stare at me. HAHA. I miss our hugs. I miss the only person I give PHANtastic hugs to. There's just so much to tell you, but I have to wait until we talk in person to have that all come out. You messed up with me big time. Don't expect our friendship to be picked up from where we left off. This is going to be taken slowly and everything is going to be taken into consideration and whatnot. Don't think that I'm letting you off easily, son. Well, I'm getting tired and depressed. Good night.