Update.

Hello! It's almost the end of February. Goodness, this month has passed by a bit quicker than I thought. I've fallen in love with the song "Halo" by Beyonce. It's on repeat at the moment. Haha. I believe the last thing I wrote about was the hang out with the lunch crew which was weeks ago. I'll update starting from that weekend. I don't think we had school that Monday after the kickback. I spent the whole day doing homework, I think. Haha, most likely, I did. The 18th was the one month mark from A Cappella's trip to New York. I'm so not excited for that. On the 20th, I had to go to Whittier Narrows Recreation Area to help set up and practice for the LA Tet Festival that weekend. I went there right after school with Annie. I had to take care of all the paperwork for the ladies that were participating in the Miss Vietnam LA and Mrs. Vietnam LA Pageant. Let me tell you, these ladies were extremely unprepared, unorganized, and they drove me NUTS. I had Annie's phone because I had to take her calls while she worked the the Mrs. Pageant contestants. I left early with a big cup or porridge. Luis came to pick me up along with Miranda and Wendy R. to head back to his house for a little get-together for Bradley who was leaving to the army the Monday after that week. I'm going to miss Bradley's humor, no lie. I was not in the greatest mood when we were on our way to Luis' casa. Wendy R. wouldn't freakin' move over so I had to walk to the other side where the baby carseat was and I had to climb over that to sit. I slammed his doors by accident. They were telling me to relax and I was already mad from the girls and ladies being unprepared and bugging the crap out of me. Luis said something and I said "F*** your life," but I didn't mean it. He told me jokingly to get out of the car and I was so close to climbing out of the car, but Wendy R. had said "I think she already had enough trouble getting inside the car." I stayed extremely quiet the whole ride there. I was mumbling to myself out of anger and Luis tried comforting me. We waited for everyone to come back so we can all chill. We had pizza and sat by the fire thingurrmabobber. We were playing some card games and then everyone had to leave. Jay randomly called me that night to go hang out which was a total shocker to me because he NEVER calls me to hang out because he's gosh darn too cool for me now! Stupid bakla face. (: Anyway, Luis took me home safely. The next day, I had to get up early to leave to the festival. My mother and father had sticks up their butt and snapped at me about going to the festival and nagging me. I asked my mother to lend me the car, she said no. I wasn't about to ask my dad to lend me his car because he was driving the BMW because my brother took his Lexus. I got angry so I called Annie to see if she can give me a ride. She was busy at the park already so I called Diem to tell her that I have no car. I started walking to the park since that was the only way I could get myself there. I walked to the liquor store and my mother drove by to pick me up and take me. It was a very silent car ride there. Diem came to pick me up to get some food before the festival had started. We went to Starbucks and CVS. As soon as we got back, I had to change into my opening ceremony Vietnamese traditional dress. I had to hold the big dishthing that held the scissors for the sponsors to cut the ribbon. I also had to help give awards to the sponsors. Diem had to leave for a bit, but as soon as she came back, we had to roll out to the 99cents store to buy gift bags to prepare for the pageant winners that night. I got a grip load of free food. I had a teensy problem this day. Annie had brought me her dresses to wear for the fashion show. All the dresses had a problem. One was missing a string, the other one had no zipper. I had to resort to her mom's dress which I did not have the chest for. It kept showing my bra, so I had to pull my bra down a few times. I helped Diem with the check-in list for the girls who were running for the Miss Vietnam LA pageant. I had to take down the fashion show list, too. The fashion show went well. I had to walk twice. There were an uneven number of girls walking. The pageant went well except for the beginning. I had to hold the dish of numbers for the contestants to pick for their question. They had really pretty Vietnamese tradtional dresses and evening gowns. That night, I met a designer/make-up_hair artist named Jacky Tai. He gave me his number and MySpace so that if I wanted him to design my dress for prom, he'll do it. He charges $100 for hair and make-up which isn't bad and his work is fabulous. I got to see the nephew this day. He let me hold him! I was so surprised. The cutest child in the world, I swear. He looks more and more like his day everytime I see him! ): Anyway, so I accidetnally broke one of the pageant winner's award. I broke the first runner-up's award by accident. Luis came to pick me up again because I had no ride home. He's a sweetheart, huh? The next day, which was Sunday was the same routine, just without the opening ceremony and the awards. We had the Little Kids Pageant that day. There were at least 30 kids that day. I got fat this whole weekend. I gained at least 5 lbs. from all that free food! Today was the reuniting of A+ sisters day. Nicki finally came. We took a picture, too. Too bad Kevin wasn't there. The picture would've been completely complete. (: The fashion show was different today. We came from one side, rather than two because we didn't have enough partners like the day before. Same routine with the Mrs. pageant. I had to hold the dish of questions. My feet were killing me! ): The prettiest lady won the two runner-ups were the ladies that I wanted to make it to that round. Katie had taken me home. I had to stay up to finish all my homework. That was not fun. ): I was not looking forward to going back to school. I was sleep-deprived and I still am! :/ I was so out of it and everyone noticed it, too. This was the day I got mad at something and it just completely ruined my day. This week is our last week for Pennies for Patients fundraiser. I have a few activities during lunch tomorrow. I hope we'll have many people participate. I'm debating whether or not I should go to Sadies. I don't have enough money for it. Maybe I'll go since it IS my last Sadies. We have that game for Hollywood Knights next week. I'm super excited for that. I have 5 tickets, anybody want to buy one? It's $8 pre-sale and $10 at the door. We have famous celebs coming to play. That cute guy that plays "Gary" on the show "What I Like About You" is going to be there! *squeals. I failed my government test. Oh, how I loathe thee, Mr. Hernandez. -_- I hope you get a pink slip. Grr. I blame you for that grade on my test. He didn't even go over the questions with us. The notes that most of the students gave weren't accurate enough or was totally off. -__- I'm really going to try to let things go, now. Things that I've been hearing from others are really getting to me and it's getting to the point where I just can't take it anymore. I'm done! I'm over that s***. I can only take so much and handle so much. I wish things were only that simple! I can't let myself be in this state of mind. I decided that it's time to really try and let go. It's wasting my time and it's wasting others' time, too. I don't want to care so much anymore. I want to stop this infatuation feeling. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall, but I did, and I fell HARD. Now, I'm letting go. I've realized that I can do so much better. Whatever, it's his loss. He lost something REAL good. Now, I'm moving on to bigger and better things: appreciating life much more than I did before. I may be saying this now and go back to how I was before with missing him and contemplating, thinking about him as much as I did before, etc. but I'll look back and read this and remind myself that it was his loss and I can do so much better. Thanks to all my friends who have helped me get by each day. Much appreciation and love to all of you. There's others out there that have it far more worse than I do. I think it's time for me to go to seep, now. Good night, anonymous readers.

Last Night

Last night, the "lunch crew" I hang out with decided to have a little bonfire at Wendy Ochoa's house. Miranda stopped by to pick me up and we rolled out to Wendy's casa. No one was there yet and they were hungry so we decided to walk to Omana's to get some food. I had no money. ): We walked back to Wendy's house and Jovani, Lolita, Chacon, Griselda, and David were already waiting outside. We all sat around and talked while we were trying to figure out how to get the fire started. Griselda amuses me very much. I love that girl, haha. We had the music going and Jio(Jovani) kept requesting techno. Wendy Ochoa only had one Benny Benassi song on ther iPod. ): Griselda made a playlist and everyone laughed at the songs she chose, so I made a different playlist. Luis came by with his mother and aunt because they were going to go buy stuff. I came out to say "Hello." to them. I had 5 bucks in freakin' QUARTERS. I had to give them all to Chacon because he was nice enough to pay for me as I paid him in change to pitch in for the stuff. (: Wendy Ochoa went to go buy those burning logs since the wooden sticks we had before wouldn't burn for crap. Luis came back with things and we all waited until everyone came back. We were discussing about random things while we waited for everyone. Lolita was playing soccer. Luis and Jio went to go get a bag of ice with Griselda's O.G. car and it broke down half way. It was hilarious, let me tell ya! After we came back, I plugged in Luis' iPod because Wendy needs to update her iPod. :D Someone pissed my "cutayyyyy" off and I hate it when he gets like that. -__- That is why he had to leave early. We all chilled around the fire and started talking about random things. It was pretty fun while it lasted. I felt sick after a while and I was texting cutayyyyy at the time. He told me if I needed a ride home, just call him. I told him to stop by and pick me up already because I felt really sick. He came speeding to the rescue. (: I needed to pee really bad, so we stopped by CVS, but they were closed. We drove to King Taco instead. Wootwoot! We chilled for a bit until he felt like I was okay to go home. Thanks a bunch, sweetie<333 ! We texted as soon as he got home so he'd made sure I got in okay and so on. I fell asleep in the middle of our texts, unfortunately. I was so out of it last night. I fell onto a box. LOL. I'm okay now. I woke up at around 9:30ish? I'm not so sure. I don't really feel like doing homework at the moment, but I have to. I love these online blog journals. They're so fun. I'm a bit sad because the signal to my DirecTV is being searched for. ): *teartear. It was an okay weekend. Now it's time to catch up on my school work. I'm a bit sad. Unfortunately, I got rejected from CSULB. It's okay, though, because I didn't really want to go to that school anyway. I'm scared for the UC letters. ): I already know UCLA isn't going to take me. I hope UCSD and UCI accepts me, though. Well, I'm off for now. I'll be back in a bit. Phantastic OUT!

Angry -_-

I'm extremely pissed off at the moment and I'm very annoyed, too. It's time to freakin' vent out right now. Before I start venting out, I'm going to tell you how my day went so far. I woke up extremely early for no darn reason and I got ready for temple. I waited for mother to come home with the car because father was going to O.C. with his car. I went to Jamba Juice and bought myself the drink "Razzmatazz" and it was mmmgoood. I went to temple and went to class. I ate vegetarian Vietnamese bread with my Jamba Juice. It was extremely fulfilling. (: I hung out with an old friend and chit-chatted for about an hour or so. We discussed some past events and I called him an idiot. He totally agrees. It's okay, I was also an idiot, too. Now back to my venting. I hate the fact that everyone wants to toss in their two cents of why Luis and I broke up. I'm just going to believe the reason he gave me the day we broke up is true. He broke up with me because we both wanted two different things. I wanted a serious relationship and he wasn't ready for one. Now everyone else needs to SHUT THE F*** UP about what the real reason could be. Stop trying to figure out why he really broke up with me. Stop butting into our relationship. Stop putting words into other people's mouths. I've been hearing so much BULLS*** from people. They're coming to me and asking if this and that and this and that is true. Why don't you guys just mind your own f***ing business and let us handle this ourselves? Because of all the assumptions you guys made, it got me to have second thoughts on what Luis and I had. It got me to think that he used me and all of these stupid negative assumptions started popping into my head. You guys seriously need to STOP. You all need to f***ing get your s*** straight. If you want the truth, come speak to me and Luis about it. Come to us and ask us yourself. Don't listen to what others say and pass that around if you don't even know if it's true because it wasn't said from OUR mouths. This is why I dislike high school so much. So many rumors are spreaded and it gets me super pissed off. Whomever you are, shut your f***ing bulls***ting mouth. You have NO right to speak on our behalf. If you guys want to know what truly happened, either of us will tell you when we're ready and if we trust you and your judgment. It annoys the crap out of me how this has been going on since the break up. Can you guys NOT understand that we just want to be left alone? Why the hell do you care SO much about our relationship anyway? We're still good friends. Do you guys have nothing better to do but gossip about our relationship? F***! Talk about something that's worth talking about next time, okay? Just stay out of my and his business.

FEB14O9

Good morning! It's 9:50am and I'm already awake. It's Valentine's Day, so "Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!" I think this holiday is so overrated. I mean, just yesterday at school, I saw thousands of red balloons all over and flowers and such. *gags. Let's talk about yesterday at school since I'm discussing the topic of that day. I'm broke this year so I couldn't buy bags of candies and pass them out to my friends at school. :/ 1st period, I did work and was wondering why this "someone" texted me. What's her face got me mad. During 2nd period, I had to go collect the boxes of donations from the assigned classrooms I had on my list for the fundraiser we're doing called "Pennies for Patients". The money we make goes towards children that are cancer, leukemia, etc. patients. It's for a good cause, I promise. (: I got Luis to help me carry the boxes because I was not about to carry 4 boxes of coins all by myself. I also found out that he was going to purchase me a Valentine's Day Gram from French Club, but he didn't have any money. I thought that was totally cute. It's the thought that counts. I got Jerry, my brudder("brother")to get me a gram. I got the ugliest bear ever! In 3rd period, we were listening to presentations. I couldn't stop laughing at Phong. :P Sorry, bestfrannnn! I got a Dum Dum lollipop. Yummayyyyy in my tummayyyyy! I was in the Activities Office during 4th period because I had to blow up balloons for the Valentine's Day picture thing during lunch. Before I started blowing up balloons, Luis asked me to go with him to the gym to give McClarty some papers. He took my lollipop. ): I had Van, Crystal, Jessica, Jerry, Alex, Jason, Tony, and Luis help me. I blew up a balloon inside a balloon. I had nasty blisters after. ): Maggie had these cute heart-shaped balloons with Taz on it that says "Be Valentine" so I blew some up to see if we could sell those balloons at lunch along with the balloon in a balloon ones. Luis made fun of me for popping the first balloon I tried blowing up. Stupid asshole! It's okay, I laughed at him when he popped the first balloon he blew up, too. He would NOT stop tickling me when I tried blowing up the balloons. I guess you can say we established that we were each other's Valentine; he just didn't know. LOL. He blew me a balloon that said "Love You" on it, so I took his permanent marker and drew his name under the "You" and put "-cutayyyyy (:" under his name and gave it to him. He copied my idea, blew up one for me again, drew on it, and handed it to me. Hahaha. During lunch, we had Buddha's banda come out and perform. Angie dragged me into the crowd and dance with them. I'm thinking to myself "I stand out in this crowd because I'm the only Asian here! FUCK IT" and I was just trying to dance like how everyone else was. Then I went back to the lunch area and sat down to finish my candy. Then I went to the Student Store with Luis. I forgot to bring money to get Jamba Juice. ): Oh well! Griselda brought some bomb ass chocolate-covered strawberries. During 5th period, we were focusing on Hamlet again. We watched 2 different versions of Act I, Scene 2, I believe where King Claudius and Queen Gertrude speak to Hamlet about why he is so sad and how the reader knows that what Hamlet says, the king and queen see it one way, but Hamlet truly means it another way. This scene leads into Hamlet's soliloguy where he wants to kill himself, but he cannot do it because it is considered a sin and his fate would be worse if he does so. I walked to the English building towards the front where it's connected to the Learning Center to wait for Luis because I always walk with him to his 6th. He had a game yesterday, so "film" didn't start until 3pm. I walked around with Angie, Lee, and Luis for about 5 minutes until we decided where to hang out. Stupid Luis licked my face when he had whipcream in his mouth. Gross much? I think so. We ended up hanging out in Mr. Griffith's classroom. As we walked down the hall, we ran into some of Griffith's kids like Brian, Alex, Tony, and Chris. Luis kept hitting me with MY umbrella. We ran into Wendy and went with her to the library so she can print her application for one of Hawaii's universities. After school, we hung out in front of the new building for a little bit and then I left home. I found out some things that pissed me off, but whatever. I'm moving on and letting go. (: It's all gravy, baby! I went to the mall with my brudder because he wanted a new suit or something like that. We had these 20% off coupons for H&M. I picked out a shirt for him. He didn't like the other shirts I picked out. Butthole. I ended up staying home the whole night. I did a lot of thinking last night, but that wasn't enough. Now, here I am, at 10:33am BLOGGING. LOL. I wonder what I'm going to end up doing today. I'll update later on.






Hello. I'm back again on this blogger site thingurmabobber. I'm here to update on the rest of my day and how it went. I went to the mall today to attempt my returning of the dress I wore to Spirit 2009. It was an epic fail. I met up with Miranda, Wendy Ochoa and Ruiz, Lee, Lolita, and Jio. We walked around since today was Lee's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE (: <333 Anyway, so today was basically horrible aside from being with the donut kids. I ended up driving to Pasadena to visit an old friend. I ended up getting lost because SOMEONE gave me incorrect directions. I ended up driving back home and eating McDonald's. Gross, I know. ): Depressing Valentine's Day, I swear. I hate "bitchassness". You know who the hell you are. I don't know what the hell is up your ass, but honestly, whatever your problem is at home, you do NOT need to put out your anger on me. I didn't deserve all those stupid snotty remarks and attitude that you gave me. -__- That's what basically ruined my Valentine's Day. Now, I'm just sitting here on my bed typing up this blog while I listen to the Oompa Loompa guys sing in the Johnny Depp version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I watched The Princess Diaries earlier, but I got bored of it because it was repeated over and over for 3-4 hours. I'll come back tomorrow and blog some more. I'm going to vent out some more. I'm going to enjoy my fruit punch juice and my movie and texting. (: Good night, everyone.

extremely confused.

so, basically this is my first blog on blogspot. (: i'm in a stupid confusing situation that i brought upon myself. it all started off as a little secret game, but i took the chance of falling, and i fell pretty hard, probably the hardest i've ever fell and this is what i get in return for taking that chance. i don't even know what i want anymore, and neither does this person. i want to figure out what i want once he knows what he wants, but i can't do that. i gotta stop thinking about how he feels and what he's thinking. i need to thinking about what my priorities are, what the hell I want, and so on. sigh this is a lot harder than i thought. only time will tell, i guess.

so the randomest person that I thought would never talk to me in a million years randomly texted me last night. i haven't spoken to him in a very long time and he had the nerve to speak to me NOW. whatever. i'm stuck in a rut. someone help me. :/