Vent!

It is time for me to vent. I've been quite upset for the past few days. I have several reasons why I have been upset. It's mainly about friends, an ex-boyfriend, prom, and the future. Let's start off with friends.

I feel that some of my friends have chosen their significant others over friends. I know some of them don't mean to, but sometimes, things are just placed that way. I was pretty upset over the fact that anyone would choose their boyfriend/girlfriend over a friend they have known for what seems a long time. It's been bugging me for a while. I just never spoke up about it until now...and possibly in my last few blogs. This is just me trying to make people realize something. Just think about who is going to be there for you in the end. Yes, I understand that some friendships don't last forever and I understand friendships drift at times. Even though some of my friends and I have drifted, I still manage to assure them from time to time that I'm still there for them and that I'm there for them no matter what and until the very end.

I also have another friend that I personally think is trying to cause drama for the whole darn world. I believe this person is upset that some things are going to come back to normal and that a friendship may slowly drift once more. I personally think you're not over it. I wasn't speaking to them and you just happened to temporarily replace me. Now that we are back on track and working slowly towards the growth of our friendship's strenth and due to you being total BFFLs with them, you know that this was bound to happen and you don't want it to go back to normal. You like the way it is now because you're needed by them. You're being used. I'm sorry. I wasn't there for the person and the person even told me that they only spoke to you because no one else would talk to them. Well, accept the fact that it's going back to normal to how the way things were.

I'm hoping LNPRN is heading back to how things were between all three of us. I missed us SO much, it's not even funny. I miss the stupidest moments we had. I miss walking to 6th period with each other. I miss our random adventures to Target. I miss all the things we did during Winter Break. Dang, we went through a lot, no lie. We were like this *crosses fingers. Now we're going to get back on track.

With prom, I'm upset that my friend and I went through a lot just to convince another friend to go to prom. Her boyfriend's in the airforce and she refused to go to prom if it's not with him. My friend and I worked our magic, went through all the trouble of calling recruiters on how to help the friend's boyfriend come home that weekend for prom. It's all going to work out just as long as he pays for his ticket, gets the guestpass signed, and the copy of his ID, too. I did NOT go through all the hassle of calling recruiters and shit just so I can have her back out on me at last minute. -__- I hate that bullcrap. I hate having things changed at last minute. I hate how some people are just so indecisive and CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MIND ON WHAT THE FUCK THEY WANT ('naw what I mean, jellybean?!?!?) Whatever, it's her night, she can do whatever she wants with it. Her mother did not just spend time on making her the prom dress either. I just really wanted a night where all of us were finally together celebrating our long lasting friendship and whatever the hell we went through with each other our senior year. It's our SENIOR PROM, for goodness sake. Who cares if we already had the prom experience? Let's all experience our last prom together. We all have different dates. I mean, yeah, there's always Aloha, but are we all going to be there together at Aloha? I don't know. Whatever, my point being is, I really want us to all together at prom, or I will regret going to prom.

College scares me. The expenses scare me. The experience is going to scare me just as well. I'm not sure if I'm ready to head out to the real world yet.

Now the ex-boyfriend. Yes, readers, I'm not over him yet. Jeez, cut me some slack, will you? I miss the guy, I really do. We went through a lot, no lie. He's the P to my LNPRN. He's MY cutayyy and I'm his cutaayyy. I miss him terribly and so much that it hurts. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was looking through all the pictures I've taken with him and it just made me reminisce back on how things were back just a few months ago. We had a really tight and great relationship, but apparently he wasn't ready for a serious one. Now he's with a little sophomore. I'm pissed off at the fact that we were still flirting and holding hands and kissing or whatever and whatnot about a month and a half after the breakup and he jumps into a relationship a week after displaying affection to me. I don't understand this boy. We all know that he doesn't know what he wants. He's not even taking his current girlfriend seriously. I'm also mad at how he's putting up a total front and making it seem like she is THE best girlfriend in the world, when he's not taking her seriously. I may sound jealous, but why the HELL would I be jealous of a little sophomore? She has my sloppy seconds. Whatever. My point is, I miss the guy. I was doing so well for that month I wasn't friends with him, but that letter he wrote to me...it really got to me. I just don't like how he had changed so drastically. It's not the Luis Avila that I know. The Luis Avila that I see right now has a nasty personality and selfish attitude. What happened to that sweet guy that I fell in love with? What happened to guy I gave my only PHANtastic hugs to? I want THAT Luis back. He doesn't realize he's changed. I don't know what to do. It's hard to let go of someone you fell hard for. It wasn't supposed to be like this. :/ I'll finish up tomorrow or something. I'm getting teary-eyed and sleepy. [1:30AM]

11:53PM

Hello blogspot readers. I'm very tired at the moment, but I feel like I should do an update blog and then a venting blog. On Wednesday, I went to the Beach Supermarket in San Gabriel to buy tomatoes, lettuce, and Cookie & Cream ice cream. I had to slice tomatoes for the barbecue and peel the lettuce, too. We were having a barbecue. This wasn't supposed to be an A Cappella event, but majority of the people that went were from A Cappella. Funny thing, ain't it? First thing I did was get on the swings with Crystal and we gossipped, bonded, and chit-chatted. The grill starting and I was hungry. It was a pretty windy and beautiful day at Legg Lake. I had fun. (: I played volleyball, sang songs, played on the lake's playground. I felt like I was a little kid all over again. I screamed with Wendy. There was a teensy little bit of drama, but I was not involved. We played Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare. That was a very interesting game, I'll tell you. (: I ended up walking to Crystal's and waited for Wendy's mother to take me home. I came home and probably ate some more and slept. The next day, I went corsage shopping with Vi Lam. First we went to the shop on Valley towards San Gabriel. Their corsages/boutonnieres were really nice. It was very similar to the one I got for SVHS' prom last year. She was going to charge me $35 for 3 roses and the boutonniere. For 2 roses, it was $25. I told her I'm going to go talk to my date about it and come back another time. After, we went to Jack in the Box because I was craving curly fries and she wanted to drink soda. We headed out to Las Tunas afterwards to look for Flower Mart. Their corsages were SO expensive, but extremely pretty. I couldn't afford it, so I headed out to Kim's Florist in Alhambra. My brother's girlfriend referred me to her, so I decided to check it out. The corsages there were pretty legit and cheap, too. I didn't realize that because I added orchids onto my corsage, it would cost that much more. The total was around $45 dollars. I have 3 roses and 3-5 orchids. My corsage is going to look very pretty this year unlike that piece of crap I had for EMHS' prom last year. After, I went home and helped around the house and slept like always. Today, I tried sleeping in, but failed because I kept getting prankcalled. I had Omana's for brunch with Miranda while we gossipped. Later on, I walked with Wendy to McDonald's and we discussed the reuniting LNPRN[triotriotrio]. We were talking about other plans for the rest of Spring Break. We saw Griselda and David, so we stopped and chitchatted for a bit. I came home, ate some more, and was glued to the computer for a good few hours. It wasn't that much of an interesting day. Now time to vent!

An Interesting Read

Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now, and
forever will take care of itself.

Grow up together, constantly.

Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy
in your relationship. Lasting relationships don't just
happen, they are created.

Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever.
Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to
act as if they are permanent.

Respect the other person's relationships apart
from you. If they are important to the one
you care about, they should
be important to you.

Never idealize others. They will never live up to
your expectations.

Take your time.

Remove price tags from people. Everyone has
worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value.
Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too
much, if you're giving willingly.

Don't feel as if you are required to spend every
waking hour with those you love. Move aside from
time to time and allow them a separate space too.

Never force anyone to do anything for you in the
name of love. Love is not to bargained for.
Don't be afraid.

Don't overanalyze your relationships.

Realize that you always have choices. It's up to
you.

Remember that a relationship is a pooling of
resources. It means that with each relationship
you are not only giving, but you are becoming more.

Don't allow relationships to burden your heart;
rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in
shade.

Don't lose in touch with the craziness in you.
This, with a large dose of caring, will assure
that your relationship will never be boring.

Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You
don't have forever.

Don't hold on to anger. they steal your energy and
keep you from love.

There are times when you want to give up on a
relationship but never give up on relating.

Learn to listen. You don't learn anything from
hearing yourself talk.

Expect what is reasonable, not what is perfect.

Write down all the reasons why you love each
person you relate with.

Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out
and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.

After an argument is over, forget it.
Don't become involved in pettiness, ego and
childish hurts. Those will only serve to degrade
your relationship and prevent closeness.

Learn to bend. It's better than breaking.

Since love can be created, there is no reason to
be loveless.

Even though you are only half of a relationship,
you must remain a whole person, apart from the relationship.

Remember that moral and spiritual values don't
restrict, they protect.

Don't fall in love with love, you'll die with its
complexities.

Don't allow your relationships to die of neglect

Random Blog

This is a random blog. I'm currently watching the Phantom of the Opera on YouTube. I love this movie, like you don't even know. I didn't know who the Phantom was, so I googled up the movie information. The guy who acts as the Phantom is named Gerard Butler. I wondered what other movies he was in and apparently he was in P.S. I Love You and 300. I didn't know he was King Leonidas in 300 so I searched up his picture and I started laughing. I don't know why, but I found it amusing. Hahaha. I'll continue later.

Continued....
I went to Jessica's house earlier today. We watched the movie "Crybaby" and ate ice cream. Yum! Lamp Post failed! Our plans for spring break haven't gone through. I've had a few friends that might not come through because they might choose to hang out with their significant other than friends. I don't understand why they can't just INCLUDE their significant others with us. -__- Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there that I hate how sometimes, friends would choose their significant others over their friends. I don't get it sometimes. I know you don't planning on marrying the person, or maybe you are, but dude...who the hell is going to be there for you in the end? Honestly, friends are going to be there for you in the end, am I right? So why do you neglect your friends when you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? What, you can't balance it out? I just don't get it. Personally, I don't even do that. I know when to balance spending time with a significant other and friends. I usually put them together or have my friends' or girls' night out and then time alone with whomever my boyfriend is. SIGH! Friends are far more important in my life. I'm sorry but it's family, friends, and then significant others. I got priorities, man. I realized I have a few selfish friends. Bummer. Maybe if you read this, you'll understand the neglect you cause me to feel along with others. Maybe I'm the one that cares enough or just too much to actually notice. I should stop caring. I don't know. I hope you would one day get a chance to read any of my blogs and understand. :/

Tired ):

Morning. I forgot to finish my blog entry last night so I decided to start a new one this morning. Let's get a recap of the weekend. Friday was the drive to Ontario Mills Outlet mall. That mall seemed like it took forever to just walk around. There's like 10 "neighborhoods" in that mall. I wasn't really feeling any of the dresses that I saw at Group USA. It's because they didn't exactly have my SIZE. I saw THE royal blue dress that I had seen online there. It was the same exact dress, but FML, it was $209! I'm not going to spend 2 bills on a dress that I'm only going to wear ONCE in my life. There was a cute dress at Windsor, but it was $109. I only had $50 with me, so I said "Neh, I'm straight." Off topic, I'm craving an Auntie Anne's sour cream 'n' onion pretzel. MMMGOOD. I ended up finding a dress I really liked at David's Bridal, but I didn't like their deal with the layaway thing. I left and got home by like 6:30, I believe. I didn't exactly want to be at home, but I knew my mom was going to trip 'cause I went out so "late" or whatever. I think the whole sneaking out tripped me out for the rest of the weekend. I snuck out to talk to a friend that I haven't spoken with for over a month. If you know who it is, good for you. Just don't say the name out loud or comment about it. I know it's obvious about who it is, but still. Thanks. Anyway, -- had written me an apology letter and how much he had missed me, missed being able to call me his friend, and missed be able to talk to me or whatever. The letter was heartfelt to me. Here, I'll let you read it for yourself:

Dear Nancy, Before I say anything at all, I just want to say that I really miss you I miss being able to talk to you. I miss being able to call you my friend. But my main reason for writing this letter is to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you or make you mad at me. I especially want to apologize for the whole _____ thing. I should have never done that to you last minute. I'm really sorry for making you waste time and money on the _____. I wasn't expecting you to be that into it. But anyways, I'm really sorry for everything. I don't want us to hate each other. I want us to be friends again. I want us to be able to talk to each other. I don't want to feel uncomfortable at lunch anymore. I want to go to lunch and be able to talk to everyone and be happy. I hate having to isolate myself from everyone so that I don't feel weird. I miss you nancy and I really want us to be friends again. I really do hope you forgive me. I'm sorry.
--________________, your ________

So yeah, what do you guys think? I mean, I'm pretty much GLAD that he realized how much he messed up with me and messed up what used to be our friendship. Yes, it was both of our faults, but I blame it more on him because of the stunt he pulled on me. I got screwed over big time. You don't EVER f***ing screw over and mess with a damn PHAN, 'cause you will regret it. I can guarantee that. After I had read the letter, I texted him that we'll talk about this later on in the day when he comes home. I texted him around 7pm that same day (Thursday). He had fallen asleep and I was like "What the hell, you knew we were supposed to talk!" but I got over it. I told him we'll talk the next day after I come back home from the mall. So then, that day (Friday), I had texted him as soon as I got home. I was totally blown off because he was with his girlfriend. I was like "Wtf, you KNEW we were going to talk to him." He knew I was upset from the last text I sent him saying "OMG NVFM..." He texted me 3 hours later apologizing to me about earlier. I said , "Nah it's cool. I mean yeah GF > Friend. When you're not busy with your fambam, friends, or her, feel free to pencil me into your schedule." Then he tells me that he feels bad. I pretended to act like I didn't know why he felt bad so I asked him why he felt bad. He said "I keep leaving you on the hang." I told him "Well, I'm an understanding person. You have far more important things than me and working out this friendship, but knowing you, you'll make time for me (:" He said that he was free right at that moment and it was getting late already. I told him to just come 'cause I was able to sneak out. That's exactly what I did. I snuck out and we talked that night, FINALLY. The first thing we did was give each other a hug. It's been a while since I've been able to hug him and it felt so good to just be able to hug him again. We started talking and he apologized first and told me how much he missed me and I apologized too, for my own reasons and I told him that I had missed him too. We discussed a lot that I prefer to keep between us. Everything went well. Our friendship is back on track, but we're taking it slow because I told him that we can't just pick up from where we left off. The next day, which was Saturday, I totally bummed it out. I decided to leave -- a long comment on his MySpace. Apparently, his girlfriend's SISTER tripped out on my comment by saying "What's going on with that comment under me? I'm not really liking that "last night" bullcrap. We need to talkk mister." so I had to re-comment. It's just freakin' MySpace and she's tripping out about it. You're f***ing 19, dude. Get over it. You can't accept the fact that he has friends that are girls that he hangs out with? Besides, I wouldn't be saying crap if I were you 'cause of all the b.s. that I've heard. Someone is just having too much fun not staying committed! >:] Anyway, I didn't do much on Saturday. I really just slept a lot because I'm extremely tired for no reason. On Sunday, I went to temple late like always. I helped served lunch for 150+. After lunch was done, I had to take care of the older girls inside the temple to make sure they weren't messing around and junk because I don't exactly have to learn with them anymore. I'm in training to become a leader. HAHA, I'm such a nerd! While I was at temple, a friend texted me and I wanted to bonk him in the head because what he was texting me was some stupid bulls***. Here, I'll let you read it

--: hey I just remembered something I was gonna mention that night we talked

Me: what’s up

--: I didn’t really appreciate the fact that you were talking crap about my gf. Especially when you know nothing about her or who she was at the time

Me: I don’t even remember what I said. But I’m sorry?

--: I don’t wanna bring that back up but I really didn’t appreciate that. I had a few people tell me that you were talking crap. I don’t wanna hear it again

Me: well my bad for saying shit I didn’t mean any of it. I was just talking out of anger. I’m hearing the same thing just vice versa. I wanna tell you everything I heard but I can’t ‘cause I know you wouldn’t believe me. & right now you’d probably take her side instead of mine. It seems that you would choose a significant other’s side than a friend’s side so whenever I feel it’s right to tell you, then I’ll tell you

--: I never said anything. I had no reason to.

Me: well I’m hearing otherwise but we’ll have to talk about this another time.

--: what you’re hearing is wrong. Like I said, I had no reason to talk so I didn’t. I just don’t wanna hear about you talking crap anymore

Me: I’ve stopped for a while and I don’t plan on doing it again. What I heard that you say isn’t true isn’t even HALF of all the crap I heard so just wait till it’s right to talk about it. I promise you won’t hear shit from me about her anymore.

--: good cuz things won’t be too pretty if it continues. There won’t be another time to talk about this. That’s why I brought it up now

Me: You know, I don’t like the fact that you would threaten our friendship like that over something stupid that I did. I already stopped. Yeah there IS going to be a next time we’re going to talk about this because it fucking relates to YOU

--: things can get ugly, nancy. And no there won’t be

Me: yeah I KNOW things can get ugly. Fine. That’s your ultimatum. I get it. I don’t like the fact that you would choose a relationship over a friendship but whatever. Apparently my opinion doesn’t matter anymore. Just remember who’s gonna be there for you in the end. This convo’s done and over with. It’s never going to be brought up again.

After this, I was freakin' HELLA pissed off. I seriously don't get this guy. Here he was trying to make our friendship work out and now he's THREATENING our friendship. So what if I talked crap about his girlfriend? I already stopped a long ass time ago. I had a right to, and I never meant anything I said except maybe the part where she isn't pretty and that he's totally pedoing her because she's only FIFTEEN and he's EIGHTEEN. She's the reason why our friendship was f***ed up. Now you're going to f***ing tell me that if you hear me talking crap about her, things will get ugly?!? Excuse me, asshole. You're the one that f***ed up real bad with me and you're the one that's trying to be my friend again. You should NOT be threatening our friendship like that. I should be the one giving you a f***ing ultimatum. You act as if your girlfriend is more important than my friendship with you. You are obviously choosing a relationship that you aren't even SERIOUS about because I know what you're doing, you dirtyf***, over a friendship. How the hell can you do that to me? Think about who the f*** is going to be there for you in the damn f***ing end. Is SHE going to be there? I don't f***ing think so! You KNOW for a fact that I'M going to be there in the f***ing end for you. I hate the fact that sometimes, I have to point out the mistakes that you are making. I cannot wait till Karma comes biting you in the ass for what you're doing right now. Maybe after this happens, you'll learn to NEVER EVER choose a girlfriend over a friend, especially with ME. That's some f***ed up shit, but apparently you don't notice it because you're stubborn as f***. I seriously don't know what to do with you. I'm not going to bother talking to you right now because you're obviously putting up a front and I know deep down you don't give a rat's ass about your relationship right now. Watch, it's going to come biting you in the ass and you don't even KNOW it. Will I be there for you when this happens? Honestly, I don't know. You either realize what you're doing now, or no one is going to be there for you at all. I knew it was a mistake to let you off so easy. I know better now.

Anyway, I'm going to get out of bed and eat now. I'm hungryyyy ): I'll blog some more laterrrr :D

Saturday Morning!

I'm supposed to be at the beach right now, but I told the kids I wouldn't go because I didn't feel like taking the bus and getting lost on the way there and back. I really wanted to go to Venice Pier today. Even if it's cold, I just wanted to walk on the boardwalk. (:

"Oh, when the sun beats down and burns the tar up on the roof,
& your shoes get so hot, you wish your tired feet were fire-proof!
Under the Boardwalk, down by the sea, yeahhhh
on a blanket with my baby, is where I'll be!

(Under the boardwalk) out of the sun!
(Under the boardwalk) We'll be having some fun!
(Under the boardwalk) people walking above
(Under the boardwalk) We'll be falling in love
Under the Boardwalk!"

Hahah, that song was in my head. Well, I'm probably not going to do anything today besides catching up on homework and sleeping and eating like ALWAYS! YAY ME! Last night was crazy! I snuck out for the first time in my life! It was so scary. I was clearing things up with someone. I was out for about an hour and a half. It felt good how things went back to normal. I've missed you, sweetie. It's been a hard 4 weeks trying not to think about what has happened. I'm tired. I think I'll finish this blog later. TIME TO NAP!

Friday Evening!

I have a bone to pick with someone. The other day, I texted an old friend to say hey and I told him "What, you're too cool to talk to me now because you're hung up on working out your friendship with her [exgf]?" and he told me "No. I haven't spoken to her for 2 days" so I asked him what does he and she talk about. In my mind, I'm wondering if she spoke smack about me to him, and what do you f***ing know? She does! She told him that I wouldn't fight her. That girl doesn't even DARE to speak to me, so why is she saying stupid things like that? I don't get her sometimes. It's like you're out to f***ing get me, you stupid trick. I freakin' told him that she doesn't even talk shit to me for one and she never offered to fight me. I'm so much smarter than her though. I'm not going to risk graduation just to break her face. Do you honestly think I'm that f***ing dumb like you are? Seriously, grow up already! It's some middle school B.S. that you're trying to pull on me. -___- Then my friend goes and tells me that the one thing he learned from his ex is to be straight up so he told me that I was being a weenie about this whole situation and that it had many opportunities where it could have been fixed. I started to get mad and told him off and said "I listened to you when you told me to ignore her which I did until stuff happened. What, you want me to fight her? What good does that to? We both won't get anything out of it. Even IF i do fight her, she's not going to stop talking shit. I know her too well. If I were you, I wouldn't even TRY to be friends with her again, because she knows she has you in the palm of her hands. You know what, I'm just going to let things be and ignore it completely. I'm not going to stoop down to someone's level and be immature. What she's doing, REAL mature. And to add on top of that, when you're mature enough to have our friendship out in the open and not hide it, feel free to text/call me then." Ugh. You tell me you've matured and shit, but if you truly were mature, you wouldn't hide the fact that you're trying to be friends with me. Whatever, dickface. You only came to me because she wouldn't talk to you anymore. REAL F***ING MATURE.

----------

I'm so tired. I hate driving! Today, I woke up at 6:03am because Alex Le IMed me and it went to my phone for some reason. I left my house at 11 to go pick up Angie to head out to the baseball field so we can watch our varsity baseball team play against Arroyo. We won 3-0. I believe that's the 2nd win we had this season. FAIL! I saw the Avila's. I gave everyone a hug. I haven't seen them since the first few baseball games. :/ After, I went to pick up Jio and Wendy. Then we headed out to Alhambra to pick up Elvis and his friends. After this, we headed out to Ontario Mills Outlet. That was the longest drive EVER. I f***ing hate traffic. We got there and parked. We went around to Group USA and none of the dresses really caught my attention except this one blue one that was just 11 sizes to big for me. We went to other stores along the way to help Jio find a tux and vest. I went to JCPenney. There was nothing there. I had an Auntie Anne's pretzel. YUM! I want another one! I love their freakin' food court, dude! It's so huge! We left the mall around 5. I found my dress at David's Bridal. It's 100 bucks, so I must find 50 bucks somehow. Time to start selling stuff! HAHAHA or even FUNDRAISE! I dropped off everyone at home and came home and started blogging. I made myself a hot pocket and cookies. YUMYUM!

----------

I have some venting to do. I was supposed to go talk things out with someone, but apparently he had forgotten to pencil me into his busy schedule because he was with his damn girlfriend. Like do you not understand when I said "I'm going to come over tomorrow to talk, then, okay?" and he replied with an "Okay." I bet he didn't even remember. I don't understand you sometimes. You write me a letter telling me you freakin' miss me and that you miss being friends with me and being able to talk to me. If you cared that much, you would've cared enough to take time out of your schedule to talk to me so that our friendship can start over and work out again. Don't you understand that boyfriends and girlfriends aren't always going to be there for you? I'm sure you don't planning on marrying her. I know you way too well for you to even go beyond this "serious" relationship you have with her. Anyway, think about it this way. In f***ing 10 years, who the HELL is going to be there for you? Yeah, that's right. ME, your f***ing friend. Not her, because I KNOW she will be history by then. It's supposed to be friends > girlfriend. Apparently, that's not how you see it. If you cared that much, we would've made up already.

In all honesty, I really do miss you too. I miss be able to talk to you. I miss being your friend. I miss you just as much as you miss me. I miss all those weekend kickbacks we had at your house. I miss seeing and being with your family. I miss our inside jokes and our stupidness together. I miss my cutayyy. I miss the Penis to my LeftNutPenisRightNut. I miss my walking-to-4th, 5th,6th period buddy. I miss going to your games and cheering for you. I can't even go cheer for you now because it feels so awkward knowing that your girlfriend is there. I miss being that girl that made the cutest posters for you. It's like now, you don't even want one anymore. Besides, she would probably stare at me. HAHA. I miss our hugs. I miss the only person I give PHANtastic hugs to. There's just so much to tell you, but I have to wait until we talk in person to have that all come out. You messed up with me big time. Don't expect our friendship to be picked up from where we left off. This is going to be taken slowly and everything is going to be taken into consideration and whatnot. Don't think that I'm letting you off easily, son. Well, I'm getting tired and depressed. Good night.

Friday Morning!

Good morning, blogspot readers! It the first official day of spring break for me! WOOHOO! I'm excited about all the events that are planned out for the break! Technically, spring break started yesterday after school. I went to the mall yesterday with Steven to search for prom dresses. That was a big FAIL. None of the stores had super cute dresses. -__- That is why I'm going to Ontario Mills Outlet today to hopefully find THE dress for prom. Thanks Linda (: Tomorrow is supposed to be the beach, but I don't know how that's going to work. Sunday, I'm going to temple and afterwards, I'm heading out to Rose Hills to visit Kevin (RIP, friend. It's been 3 years :/). On Monday, Donuts are going out to dinner and a movie night at Wendy R.'s house. Tuesday, I believe this is a day I'm free. I'll probably end up hanging out with an old friend or something like that. On Wednesday, my friends along with my A Cappella chitlins are going to Legg Lake for a picnic and water balloon fight? I'm not so sure. On Thursday, I'm free because I'm not going to Six Flags with Donuts. I have a very big fear of heights and I hate rollercoasters. On Friday, I'm going to try and go to Lake Perris to visit Donuts, but I'm basically free this day, too. On Saturday, there might be a party I might attend with my girls. Sunday is just temple and maybe visiting a friend. I believe on the free days, I'll end up doing my homework, including today and tomorrow and next Saturday and Sunday. Let's get a recap from the last time I blogged. I last blogged on April 4th which was 6 days ago. That's a lot to recap! Hahaha I'm just kidding. On April 5th, I didn't exactly go to temple. I went to do some volunteering and to visit a friend. I got frozen yogurt, too. YUM! I went home and did homework. Monday, I had stuff due for the senior quest. I ended up at Doublz during 6th period with Angie and Wendy. We were discussing random things. We walked back to school for the senior club meeting, but it had ended by the time we got back so we decided to hang out at the lunch tables until 5 to plan out spring break, talk about prom, and much more. The next day, I don't remember exactly what we did. I think I hung out in Chang's office like always. Hahaha, fun, right? I think I skipped a little bit of third period today to talk to Ms. Boschetti. On Wednesday, I believe we had a pep rally during lunch for the softball team. I think for the first time, Luis has actually stood NEXT to me at lunch. Here's the thing...Luis and I haven't spoken to each other since that whole Sadies incident. It's been about a month I believe, or almost a month. I'm not exactly sure. I still hang out in the same crowd even if it was awkward between us. He kept isolating himself from everyone to keep himself from feeling weird. He basically was being a dick to me. I attempted to talk to him, but nothing happened. All I had in return was short answers, which I f***ing hated. I then gave up on trying to talk to him. He told a friend of mine that he wasn't going to try and be my friend so I said "To hell with him them." and I never tried talking to Luis again. Hahaha. I actually spoke about 6 words to him that day and that was it. He was bumping and pushing people around. I was standing in front of Angie and he bumped her which caused her to bump me off of the step. I was like "HEY HEY HEY WATCH IT!" I ended up in Lionettes during 6th because Mr. Whisler gave me a sick guilt trip ): Thursday was our last day of school before spring break. I didn't go to third period, kinda because I had an emergency about UCR stuff. I didn't stay in 4th that long because I was helping with the $1 dance. It was a success. While I was helping set up, John V. Tran pulled me aside and gave me this folded piece of paper. I was like "What's this?" and he told me just to read it. I opened it up and I knew who that letter was from right when I saw the handwriting. It was a letter from Luis. He told me how he missed me and missed talking to me and being my friend and whatnot. He also wrote an apology about a lot of things. Honestly, I didn't know what to do after I read it. I decided to text him and tell him to talk to me after his practice. That didn't work out so well, so I have to find another day to talk everything out and start our friendship over again. Sigh. Well I'm going to go get ready for Ontario Mills Outlet. SEE YA!

Update continues!

Last Saturday, I went to Lulu's to chill with the calmer kids of the choir. We had pizza, played Rock Band, karaoke, and danced. Jesse wouldn't let me sit down. That Sunday, I actually went to temple and everyone was like "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" I guess they did miss me. On Wednesday, Steven came to visit me and see how EMHS looks now. He was like, "Wow, this is not El Monte!" We had our choir district festival the same day, too. Mountain View sound a lot better. Rosemead did a very good job. Arroyo, the usual. I saw Mr. Roy Saenz and gave him a big. I met his friend named Brian. After the festival, I chilled with Minh a little bit. I was texting Steven and Elvis about where we were going to head out. I ended up going home. On Friday, I went to Don Bosco Tech's last dance. It was an interesting experience, I'll tell ya. The dance basically was: all of the girls dance in the middle and guys walk around and look and ask the girls to dance. Bosco's an all boys school. I met up with Eric, Kevin, David, and Chester. I saw Sarah, too. I had to go back to my car to get my ID so Eric can get me in. We went in and I never knew how strict Bosco was. We couldn't chew gum and the guards were searching through bags and everything. I went to the restroom before I started dancing. It was awkward at first. We went around the dance floor. I was the only girl in that group of guys. I danced with David first. We felt like outcasts, so we sat on the stage. Then Kevin pulled me to the dance floor and we danced, but the guard flashed the light at us so we stopped and headed back to the stage. We made several rounds around the dancefloor..and I literally mean SEVERAL rounds. I ended up dancing with Chester majority of the night (: Pretty good dancer, I'll tell ya. We left early and headed out to someone's party in Arcadia. I saw many familiar faces. I saw Mister cool guy ELVIS LAM at the party. He's so much cuter nowwwww 'cause he gots a LIP RING<333 Oh f'sho! Haha. The party got raided by the po-po, so I ended going home and talking on the phone until 4:15 am<3 (: I didn't do much today. I'll update tomorrow on what happens at temple. W00T!